Quite a few of you know my story and journey with NACD, but for those of you who do not here it is in brief: We started our journey with NACD in December 2008. At the time my son Grant, who was five years old, was completely non-verbal, developmentally delayed, a flight risk, very stimmy, and had behaviors out of control. My husband and I were desperate for change and NACD gave us hope that one day our son might be able to first and foremost communicate with us and secondly live a happy and fulfilling life. I am very pleased to say that through our journey with NACD these hopes have become reality. He is fully conversational, a delightful young man, and living his best life. We continue to push forward and raise the bar on the expectations of him reaching his full potential.

In December of 2021 my dream job came to fruition, working for NACD as a coach, supporting families just like mine. As coach and now well into evaluator training, I have gained a different perspective through working with both evaluators and families. This has caused me to reflect on my personal journey with NACD and through reflection there are some things I wish I had understood more fully earlier on.

I wish I understood then just how important processing activities are as the critical foundation to global development. The background information I brought with me had me convinced I needed to prioritize other activities I felt were more important, like reading and math. These things are of absolute great value and importance, but the reality is the higher the processing is in a child, the easier these subjects will be to learn, and not only to learn, but to retain. Push to build the processing and the academics will fall into place much more easily.

I wish I realized that each activity on my child’s program is put on program with a specific intent and purpose. There are no “fluff” activities on program. Each activity is an important piece in building your child’s brain. Your evaluator has reason and intent behind each activity as to why it plays an important role. If you are unsure what an activity is accomplishing or why it is on your child’s program, ask us! The more you understand your program, the more successful you will be at implementation.

I wish I embraced the concept of pushing chores, responsibility, and self-help skills earlier on. I had my children learn chores, but I did not quite fully understand the bigger picture of what is accomplished through having a mindset of increasing the list of things my children can do. When it comes to chores it isn’t so much about what kids can do but more about what is happening through the act of doing chores. Chores build confidence and independence in kids. The more confident and independent kids are, the more intrinsic motivation they have to not only take on learning new things but are not intimidated doing hard things. Confident children have a “can do” mindset and this mindset overflows into academics as well. When this happens, they aren’t intimidated by working a tough math problem or learning something new, but instead they readily take on the challenge and with joy! There is another big piece of development that occurs through building the list of things a child can do, and this is maturity. Maturity comes with doing things for oneself and through doing things for others. We are raising highly capable adults. Highly capable adults are confident, independent, and mature. Keep raising the bar on the things your child can do!

Lastly, what I would tell my younger self when first starting our journey with NACD: Know your child’s program thoroughly. Watch the video tutorials and read the handouts from time to time, not just when you get a new program. You will learn something new every time you do. Ask questions if you are unsure about any activities or if something just doesn’t make sense to you. Take time to educate yourself by reading Bob’s articles in the newsletters and watching his YouTube videos. There is so much to be learned and the more you know, the better you will be at implementing program. Your time and efforts working with your child will be more efficient and your greatest work will be right before you, your amazing and unique child well on his way to reaching his full potential!

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I never tire of hearing stories like the one we are sharing with you today. This family worked together and totally transformed their daughter’s confidence through opening up all new abilities. When I first started with Stella, only a short while ago, it was apparent that we were working with an intelligent, hard working girl with minor issues in several areas. By addressing and accelerating her processing abilities relative to short term memory, working memory, and long term memory, she was able to make great strides in her abilities. In addition to focusing on these pieces, we freed her up from a package of academic busy work and taught her to love learning. Hearing how this has impacted her life and the lives of her family is what keeps the staff at NACD doing what we love to do. Read all about their journey:

From Marie, Stella’s mother

My name is Marie, and I am the mother of Stella. We have been receiving NACD services since September 2022. Over the last nine months our family has gone through multiple challenges and changes, including moving from Texas to Puerto Rico, becoming farmers, and starting homeschooling. NACD has been an important part of this change, as it has provided us with guidance and support. Stella started her education at home with me when she was very small. Before her 1^st year of age, I started reading to her, singing, showing her colors, and stimulating her physical, emotional, and cognitive development as much as I could until the age of 4, when she started going to preschool. She was a smart and eager-to-learn little girl, already bilingual (Spanish and English), even when our main language was Spanish. Later we moved to the States, where Stella started Kindergarten. This is when I started noticing problems with her learning process. The girl that was eager to learn was now crying about sight words, and was struggling switching letters and sounds when reading, and not wanting to go to school. I was heartbroken, but our financial situation would not allow me to stay with her at home, or so I thought. Around that time, we received recommendations to stop reading to her in Spanish, and by the age of 6 she was forgetting Spanish. By second grade we had noticed that the previous issues would not be resolved, and now she was also struggling with mathematical problems. The girl that loved numbers and was able to count and do simple math tasks now was struggling and hating math. Her teachers were instructing us to take her out of her extracurriculars (sports and music), the only areas she was feeling successful about. We refused. Right before we started NACD for her 8^th grade, Stella had good grades at the cost of her peace and rest. She was restless, agitated, and anxious most of the time. Her mood would swing, and she was frequently upset. She would listen to conversations differently than what we said and feel upset about it. She was putting more effort into her schoolwork than any of her peers just to catch up. It was so hard to see her at the dining table completing work from the classroom, and later her homework. When we asked the schools for evaluations or support, they would only notice her excellent grades, but not the extra effort and anxiety she was struggling with. When we started NACD Stella had started a bunch of books but had not finished any yet. She used to say she hated to read and hated math. Now the story is so different. After only nine months of NACD programming, we have seen such a change. Lyn has been an amazing source of wisdom and guidance, and Melody has been the strong and kind hand taking us from point A to point B. Here is a brief list of some of the changes we have noticed:

• More responsibility.
• Increased comprehension of verbal commands, social cues, and even reading.
• Increased attention span: Able to follow multi-step directions and recall appropriately when asked to complete tasks and chores.
• Better self-regulation in conversations, when upset, and when discussing different points of view.
• Is more self-regulated in terms of how to invest time in different activities (fun vs. responsibilities).
• Able to accept her mistakes and point at mistakes appropriately, not taking it personally, but explaining, or accepting whatever is appropriate in the situation.
• Identifies what is working for her and what is not; negotiates.
• Learning to manage money (math), as before she would avoid trying to pay for things and even look at what she was supposed to pay or receive as change (avoidance of the math process).
• She is interested in audiobooks and in reading paper books, when in the past she had no interest in books in general. Has completed about 5 books (paper books) over the course of the year, and multiple audiobooks, when previously it was impossible for her to complete 1 book per year.
• Overall, she seems more mature.

We are thrilled with her progress and the person she truly is. It is beautiful to see my wonderful teen being able to show her true colors, without the anxiety, without the moods and the exhaustion. We are excited about what is to come, and even though we are not done yet, the current progress is so wonderful, and our family is better because of it. We are living a much simpler life. Currently we are farming, and I am working from home, and even when it took a leap of faith to get here, I wouldn’t change it for the world. My daughter’s peace and healthy development is worth the change! Thanks, NACD, for your support throughout these 9 months! We are excited about the journey to come!

            • Reprinted by permission NACD Newsletter, July 2023 ©NACD

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What is the difference between a parent or a caregiver trying to push a child to take a developmental step and a child being driven to take that step? For all children it is very significant; but for the developmentally challenged child it can literally be the difference between success and failure.

If you observe the changes that take place in a child as they gain more and more functional mobility, be it a child who is developing typically or a child with challenges, the associated global changes are hard to miss. The child being able to initially move and crawl on their bellies and get to something is a major step in independence. When they can move faster and better and can creep on their hands and knees, they take another leap, as they do when they start walking. At each of these stages, the child’s level of awareness and the degree to which they are present and are taking in more information takes a major leap forward. The added input their brains receive, along with the associated neurodevelopment, results in improved processing, cognition, language, and more. However, another often missed but related and important piece to this process is the effect of independence.

I have observed that independence results in an increase in initiation.

One of the toughest challenges for the parent of a child with developmental issues is trying to get them to do something that requires work, time, and perseverance when the child couldn’t care less and lacks the perception that they are actually participants and can initiate and do something. Some of these initial steps can be maddening for parents. It’s not surprising that many parents of developmentally challenged children often feel like Sisyphus, from Greek mythology, who was forced to keep pushing a boulder up a mountain only to have it keep rolling back down. These first steps are so difficult because a child who lacks independence, who has limited ability to interact or play with a toy, feed themselves, speak or initiate much beyond getting a reaction from a parent with a smile or a scream, does not perceive that they can initiate or produce change, or simply, just do something new or different. At every stage of a child’s development, the more independent and empowered they are, the more they strive to move forward on their own, as do most typical children to varying degrees.

It amazing how apparently minor acts of independence can produce global change. As an example, it has been interesting and enlightening to observe the impact of self-feeding on independence and initiation. Many parents of children with developmental issues see feeding as a process by which you get food from a bowl into a child’s stomach as quickly and as efficiently as possible. This often means feeding the child pureed foods that do not require chewing and using a rather large spoon so the food can get shoveled in as quickly as possible, leaving time for what are perceived to be important things. Comparing children who are very developmentally similar who are encouraged and taught to eat independently as soon as possible to those who are fed is often dramatic relative to their overall development going forward. If you think about independence, being able to feed oneself is as foundational as it gets.

One of the things about working with a lot of whole children is that it permits you to see correlations and associations. I understand parents, and I get it that some are not making the connection and giving their children the opportunity to learn to finger feed because they don’t want to deal with their child painting themselves and the kitchen while learning how to do it, or to deal with their discovery that a spoon can function as a catapult, permitting them to launch food even farther*. But where many parents see a disaster, I see initiation. The more a child does independently, the more they become aware of themselves, their surroundings, and their ability to impact their lives, to change things and do new things, to move forward, to initiate.

I have a little grandson who I have loved observing as he moved from crawling, to creeping, to walking, and watching his world change. Crawling permitted him go, to explore, no longer dependent on someone bringing the world to him. Faster, more efficient mobility, creeping, opened up more territory and the ability to start getting up into a kneel to reach and interact with things at a higher level; then pulling to stand permitted access to more of his world, which quickly transformed into walking and reaching higher places and getting around faster and freeing his hands to move and carry things. Each new step in his independence opened up more of the world and taught him that he could change it, which taught him he could initiate doing more and more himself. The more empowered he was, the faster and faster he developed. At sixteen months of age, I watch in amazement as he moves around a room, exploring and discovering that “This does that and that” and “Oh, I can make it do that too.” “I can initiate,” “I can change and impact my world.” He just sees challenges, not limitations. Independence produces initiation, and initiation produces more and faster development.

Coaches often talk about trying to instill an “I can do” attitude. The truth is, the more you can do, the more you instinctively know and believe you can do.

For a child with developmental issues, this correlation between independence, initiation, and global advancement is ongoing and as significant for the teen or young adult as it was for the infant.

Independence and initiation develop through the basics, such as moving, feeding oneself, and independence in dressing and toileting, into the ability to get themselves food and drink, to the understanding that language is a means to get what you want and need, as well as communicate feelings and thoughts, which have the power to influence and produce change. But it certainly doesn’t stop there. Some of the first questions I ask parents about their children relate to independence in self-help skills and chores. The independence that comes from doing chores without prompts**, from owning chores, doing your job without someone standing over you and prompting you, translates into self-confidence and initiation. Being independent and responsible for chores generalizes into all aspects of the child’s development, education, and maturity.

Parents, don’t put independence at the bottom of your list, put it at the top.

Independence fosters initiative, and initiative is a key to development.

* There is also a huge range of other benefits from a child learning to feed themselves, ranging from foundational oral motor development needed for speech, to focus and visual convergence, to digestion, just to name a few.

** One of the more difficult things to overcome in a child with developmental issues is prompt dependency. Being taught that someone needs to prompt you to do every step teaches dependency, not independence, and kills initiation.

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 34 No.2, 2021 ©NACD

Related Articles

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Chores: An Integral Part of Your Child’s Development & Education

Confidence Through Chores

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Printed in the Autism
Health and Wellness Magazine
Volume 1 Issue 3 – Autumn 2009

Bob Doman has been working with autism since the late 1960’s and was part of the team that first discovered the connection between sensory dysfunction and autism. Bob has been instrumental in establishing the foundation for today’s understanding of neurodevelopment and those within the autism spectrum.

Understanding and remediating neurodevelopmental issues of those within the autism spectrum is critical if we are going to provide these individuals with an opportunity to overcome their debilitating developmental issues and to function within “typical” or “normal” limits. The underlying neurodevelopmental issues associated with autism are often not addressed. And when they are addressed, it is often only in part or with inadequate or inappropriate interventions. A thorough understanding of all of the related pieces is necessary if a comprehensive and effective strategy is to be created and implemented.

Most neurodevelopmental issues will not simply go away. Teaching new skills or utilizing aggressive medical or nutritional intervention without addressing the underlying issues may change some function; but if the neurodevelopmental foundation is not established, results are going to be limited at best. And sadly, some of the more aggressive treatments may actually be harmful and cause regression. The predominant view that most children within the spectrum have only limited potential and cannot overcome their issues reflects the overall misunderstanding of the problem. There is a lack of attention to the uniqueness of each individual and a general misperception that we are dealing with a specific disease that will ultimately be cured or eradicated through pharmaceutical or medical intervention. Autism is not polio or chickenpox; you can’t catch it. It is neurologically based, regardless of the initial cause. I am sure we will ultimately see that there are many causes, and like other developmental problems, that there is neither a single cause nor a single solution. The disease model is leading many parents, researchers, and practitioners in the wrong direction. Those within the spectrum are unique individuals, each with their own set of issues and underlying problems, who should not be perceived as having a disease. Those who are and were within the spectrum cover a broad range of ability and disability. Included within the autism spectrum are those who have been “cured,” who are no longer identifiable as having a problem, to savants such as “The Rainman,” Kim Peek, or Daniel Tammet, to those individuals who are so involved and dysfunctional that they cannot be safely maintained in anything other than a very protected, restrictive, and controlled environment.

Discovering, understanding, and learning how to address the unique underlying neurodevelopmental issues has been an effort of a lifetime and a dynamic process. Each insight opens more doors, assists in the understanding of these unique minds, and leads to better results.

Although each child is unique, we have discovered some neurodevelopmental issues that are expressed in varying degrees in virtually every individual on the spectrum. Successful intervention necessitates an understanding of and attention to these fairly universal neurodevelopmental components, including:

Neurology and physiology are interrelated. That which is impacting the child’s physical function impacts their neurological function. Most children on the spectrum are extremely physiologically sensitive. Diets, medications, supplements, and interventions need to be applied with a gentle scientific hand, measuring and evaluating the effects of each specific component with an understanding that generally many interrelated aspects of physiological function are involved. Aggressive intervention often creates another problem. Also, as the neurological function and efficiency improves, so does the physiology–the child becomes healthier and less physiologically sensitive. Intervention needs to by applied gently, with the goal of producing overall health and wellness.

The brain develops if it receives specific, appropriate input through the sensory channels. Specific auditory, visual, and tactile input stimulates the brain and triggers neuro-growth that physically changes the brain and its function. This process is called neuroplasticity. In autism the primary issue is sensory dysfunction. The brain does not correctly process sensory input, thus interfering with the typical neurodevelopment and triggering what is now being referred to as negative plasticity. Function determines structure; how you use your brain determines how it develops. Normalization of all these sensory channels establishes the foundation upon which typical neurodevelopment can occur.

Abnormal sensory function coupled with low sequential processing generally leads to what I have coined as DSAs—Debilitating Sensory Addictions. Generally DSAs are referred to as “stims,” or self-stimulatory behaviors. The reality of DSAs is that the child is playing with what is improperly developed or “broken” in a sensory channel. For example, under-developed central vision and enhanced peripheral vision trigger DSAs that involve the child fixating on the movement or edges of objects. This behavior becomes additive, with the brain responding exactly as it does to a drug or any other addiction. It thus results in the creation of a more addictive brain, which further delays the development of the central vision, the component of our vision primarily responsible for learning, and focuses the brain on fulfilling the addiction. These DSAs often involve many, if not all, sensory channels; and they often dramatically disrupt and corrupt typical development.

Complexity of thought, conceptual thought, language, and global neurological and developmental maturity are critically linked. For those within the spectrum, the developmental delay produced from the sensory dysfunction creates both neurodevelopmental delay and an imbalance affecting these critical functions. The delay is in the development of sequential processing. Sequential processing is the ability to take in a series or sequence of auditory or visual information and to then hold those pieces together and manipulate them. This ability is that which permits us to learn and think. The primary global neurodevelopmental difference between a typical child of one, two, three, four, or five years of age is the difference between their abilities to process information sequentially. Delaying the development of sequential processing delays critical aspects of the child’s total development. Delays in auditory and language development create an imbalance between the ability to think in pictures (i.e. visualization–typically very strong in those with autism) and the ability to think in words (i.e. conceptualization–generally significantly delayed in this population). This imbalance, if not addressed, can and often does have a devastating effect on the ability to process, understand, and utilize language, as well as the ability to think conceptually, thus impacting global function.

A comprehensive treatment regime for children with autism and those on the spectrum involves creating specific neurodevelopmental programs for each child. These programs and treatment protocols must address health and wellness, sensory issues (visual, tactile, auditory, olfactory and taste), processing problems (auditory and visual), lack of development of and imbalance in visualization and conceptualization, fine and gross motor function, cognitive and academic function, and speech and language, as well as behavioral and social issues. We tackle these issues by designing a very child-specific, holistic, coordinated Targeted Developmental Intervention (TDI)® program. A TDI program is created after we thoroughly review the child’s history and conduct an in-depth developmental and educational assessment.

The work we do at NACD with children with autism has changed the previous notions that they are unable to progress and learn, or that the only effective treatments are behavior modification programs and skill-based training programs. NACD does not see children on the autism spectrum as being unreachable. We respect them for who they are and believe that they, like any child, are capable of attaining their innate potential and that they deserve the opportunity to do so.

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 22 No. 10, 2009 ©NACD

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