The quote “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” is often attributed to Albert Einstein, but it actually came from novelist Rita Mae Brown. I must admit I liked it better when I thought it was Einstein’s, but coming from a novelist doesn’t make it any less true. And nowhere is it more true than in education.

Look at a 1971 Cadillac, the top-of-the-line American car of its day and compare it to a self-driving Tesla. The development and change have been more than dramatic. As an old Star Trek fan, I notice the same thing watching reruns: in many ways we’ve already surpassed what those writers could even imagine. Captain Kirk used a flip phone.

Almost everything has changed dramatically over the last fifty years, with one glaring exception: education. I can think of nothing that has progressed slower. Long-term trends in educational outcomes show a graph that is virtually a straight line from 1971 to today.

Why Education Is Stuck

There are many contributing factors. A few of the biggest:

• Self-perpetuating training. Most professors in college departments of education are themselves graduates of the very programs they now teach, preserving the same practices decade after decade.
• Questionable curriculum and resistance to choice. There are little real competition and little willingness to let parents choose what works.
• Lack of parental involvement. Many homes have effectively been removed from the educational equation.
• Homework that does more harm than good. Schools try to make up for ineffective use of the six hours a child is in class by sending more work home, often with negative results.
• Teach, test, forget. Material is taught, tested once, and for the most part never revisited, so it never truly enters long-term memory.

One Size Fits No One

But high on my list as to why progress has been so minimal is that our schools are still focused on set curricula, one-size-fits-all education. What is taught is grade or class dependent, not student dependent. In any classroom, at any grade level, there can easily be a disparity of two, three, or even more years in students’ academic levels, with similar differences in their processing levels. A child’s processing level determines how much of what they hear, read, or see they can actually take in, understand, and assimilate.

What Targeted Education Looks Like

At NACD, we see every day what targeted education can do: education tailored to the individual. Targeted education means teaching the child at their level in each subject, tailoring instruction to the child’s processing level, leveraging the principles of neuroplasticity, and providing targeted input with sufficient frequency, intensity, and duration until the information moves into long-term memory and is associated with other things the child has learned. Developing processing abilities changes the whole picture and the child’s future.

Parents, You Don’t Have to Wait

Changing a system that doesn’t really want to change is going to take a long time. But parents, you don’t have to wait. Consider taking charge: if possible, bring your kids home and provide them with a targeted, tailored education. It can accelerate your child’s learning, turn them into active learners and readers, and yes, make them smarter.

If you’d like to learn how NACD can help you build an individualized program for your child, visit nacd.org or contact us directly. The system may not change in time. Your child doesn’t have to wait.

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 40 No. 1 , 2026 ©NACD

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Your computer’s CPU, or Central Processing Unit, carries out instructions and performs calculations that run programs and operate the computer system. This processor collects information from computer memory, decodes, executes operations, and stores results. The better your processor, essentially the better your computer.

Our combined internal processor and CPU, our brain, gathers information through our senses, associates that input with information stored in our memories, and then performs all associated functions—learning, thinking, planning, organization, self- regulation, inhibitory control functions, and cognitive flexibility. 

Every day we hear more about AI, Artificial Intelligence, the future. AI is the technology that enables computers to act more like brains, to carry out advanced functions, and perform functions that would normally require human intelligence, including learning, understanding language, problem solving, making recommendations, and more. While all this development is taking place, we are ignoring the development of HI- Human Intelligence.

As the world works hard to create smarter computers, our society is tending to produce dumber brains. Some research is showing that we may now be dropping as much as 2.5-4.3 IQ points per decade. * Recent academic outcomes, addiction to social media and screens, and societal trends would tend to suggest that the decline is now accelerating. There are many reasons for this decline, all of which have an impact of the development of and use of our internal processors, our brains.

It was once correctly said that the brain is the only container in which the more you put into it, the more it can hold. It’s true! We build a better brain by permitting it to process more. The mechanism of neuroplasticity is that which not only permits growth and development, but it is also the brain mechanism that grows the brain the more we use it. The better our processing, the more input our brains receive, the greater our complexity of thought and function. The more and better we process, the smarter we get.

The human brain, human processor, typically develops its foundation in our first ten years of life; but development can and does continue beyond then. Neural connections and networks start developing from birth as the brain is stimulated through sensory input and use. The more targeted to the individual and organized the input, the greater the benefit. The primary components of our processor are generally referred to as short-term memory, working memory, long term memory, and executive function. These terms do not accurately depict how our processor works. Our brain function is our intelligence, which is much more than memory. It’s how we process, manipulate, associate, create, think, and behave. These dynamic systems of our brain effectively determine how we learn, think, function, behave, and ultimately who we are.

Neuroplasticity is active throughout our lifetime. We have the potential to keep growing, to keep getting smarter, given the opportunity. How our brains develop reflects the stimulation and opportunities we receive. Input develops our brain and literally grows connections and neural networks, physically growing the brain. A typical baby’s brain weighs about three-quarters of a pound, and an adult brain about 3 pounds. The degree of growth is a direct reflection of the input, the stimulation we receive and how well our processor works. Neurodevelopmental problems ranging from things like Down syndrome to autism, ADHD, ADD, dyslexia and learning disabilities are all issues that adversely affect the brain’s ability to process input. Perhaps nothing reflects the value of targeted treatment/input as the changes that are produced in all of those with obvious neurodevelopmental issues when provided with programs that organize their brains and build their processors. All of these neurodevelopmental issues can be affected and improved or eliminated if these individuals are provided with the targeted input needed to address and build their processing.

Educators and most parents are familiar with the term “curriculum.” Curriculum implies a planned course, a sequence of planned input that incorporates practice to produce proficiency. Our schools have reading, math, science, history, and other areas of curriculum, but where is the curriculum for the most important piece that actually makes us smarter? Educators have been stuck for decades with a convenient grey area defining the difference between intelligence and cognition, which are functionally the same thing and equate with “smart.” If you believe that intelligence (cognition) doesn’t, or can’t, change, the educational system absolves itself of the responsibility to develop it, which also assists in categorizing and limiting expectations. It is what it is and has resulted in accepting mediocrity in most and limitations in all of our children. Our more than four decades of experience at NACD in developing processing in many thousands of children and adults, from those with brain injuries, Down syndrome, autism, learning and attention issues to “typical” and gifted, etc., undeniably shows that not only can intelligence be improved, it can dramatically enhance and change lives. There is formal research showing the positive effects on IQ, cognition, with Head Start, preschool, and education in general. ***These changes are correctly attributed to improved quality and quantity of input, change that occurs although “education.” These changes are made even though “education” rarely if ever includes targeted activities to address the foundational components of cognition, our processing power—the ability to process more of what we see and hear, and the ability to mentally manipulate more pieces of information, the workings of our human processor, our brains.

That which develops changes, what changes can be developed.

At NACD we work with families and their whole children. A rather important part of the whole package is the brain. We have developed and utilized literally hundreds of targeted activities to build and change cognition, to build human processors. When we design individual educational and developmental programs, they include everything from diet to behavior, social skills, language, physical structure and function, to reading and math, etc. But inevitably high on the priority list, if not at the top, is processing: building and developing the human processor, the brain, and simply making people smarter.

Smarter is better. We all have the potential to be smarter and a responsibility to make our children smarter.

Trying to help a child achieve their potential without addressing their processor, or cognition, is like trying to win the Indy 500 without building an engine.

*https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-06-iq-scores-1970s.html#:~:text=In%20studying%20the%20data%2C%20the,was%20not%20all%20bad%20news.

** See video above

***https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-06-iq-scores-1970s.html#:~:text=In%20studying%20the%20data%2C%20the,was%20not%20all%20bad%

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 39 No. 3 , 2025 ©NACD

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by Bob Doman

Rewards and consequences are the tools we have as parents, or, for that matter, as a society, to provide feedback, guidance, encouragement, and instruction, and to maintain order. Lack of consistent quality feedback leads to ambiguity, confusion, poor outcomes, and potentially chaos.

We need to reward the behaviors or things our children do that we like and want to see increase. Behaviors we do not like or want also require appropriate feedback. Rewards and consequences are the tools we have, the power we must use to teach our children, encourage them to do more of what we want, and dissuade them from doing things that are harmful or that will negatively impact their lives and futures.

What is a behavior? 

Everything we do can be defined as a behavior. For our children, it’s everything from walking and talking to reading, following directions, complying with requests and rules, and interacting with us and others—essentially, everything they do. 

Sadly, to many, the word “behavior” implies “bad behavior.” “Johnny has a behavior problem.” As stated, virtually everything our children do, whether it is helpful or harmful, is a behavior and is influenced by our response to it.

Feedback

Without feedback, children are in a vacuum, not knowing “Should I?” “Shouldn’t I?” “Does it matter?” or “Who cares?” Lack of quality feedback deprives the child of guidance and produces insecurity, anxiety, doubt, and poor outcomes. Unfortunately, many children receive poor or inconsistent feedback from their parents, schools, and society as a whole. 

Credibility—positive environment

To a significant degree, our influence is determined by our credibility. To create credibility, it is important to establish your primary role as loving, supportive, encouraging, and being on their side. The core of your child’s perception essentially reflects how positive or negative your overall interaction is with them. To have a positive environment, you should create a ratio of positive to negative feedback of 3:1 or 4:1 or greater. Part of the positive-to-negative equation is intensity. The stronger the reaction/feedback intensity, the stronger the impact. Ten smiles or “good” or “nice,” will not, in balance, equal one major hissy fit. Sadly, many parents reserve the intensity for the negative reactions. 

When responding to a behavior, a very important note is that our primary focus is not to specifically encourage or stop that immediate behavior, but to build those behaviors or extinguish them over time. Our measure of success or failure is the long-term results. Are we seeing more of the positive behaviors and less of the negative behaviors? If not, we have not succeeded and need to modify our response and feedback.

Consistency

A phrase often heard by parents from their children is, “It’s not fair.” It’s a safe assumption that you are not being consistent if you hear this from your child. Children seem to have an innate understanding of injustice, and inconsistency is at the top of their list of injustices. “I did this yesterday, and it was okay; why am I being punished for the same thing today?” Consistency is vital to build credibility, not appear unjust, and have the child accept and learn from your response. 

Did you mean it?

Many responses children receive for their “bad” or inappropriate behaviors are what I refer to as the equivalent of a 5-cent speeding ticket. Many of the supposed positive responses are not much stronger. I have referred to intensity as one of the foundational pieces of neuroplasticity. If something happens without sufficient intensity, our brains do not respond or change, and no learning occurs. One of the best gauges of the effectiveness of your responses is whether they worked. I often hear from parents things like, “I keep punishing the behavior, but he still does it.” If this is true, then you have not actually punished the behavior. You may have said or done something but did not punish the behavior. The definition of punishment is a response or consequence to a behavior that decreases the frequency of the behavior. If you haven’t changed it, you haven’t punished it, and doing something negative that doesn’t improve the behavior is cruel, and counterproductive, creates a negative environment, destroys your credibility and effectiveness, and harms your relationship with your child. 

The best consequences are the ones you only need to use once or twice. Do not be afraid when a consequence is warranted to go big. As an example, an age-old consequence has been writing sentences. Johnny picks on his little sister, creating all kinds of issues for the family. His consequence might be to write the sentence 10 times: “I have to be nice to Mary, and I cannot and will not pick on her.” I suspect that for many boys, this task would result in a lot of grumbling, and ten minutes later, they would be finished, and fifteen minutes later, Johnny would be picking on Mary again. What if Johnny had to write that sentence 300 or more times? This would probably take many hours; Johnny will have missed some things he would have liked to do, like his baseball game, and had said to himself 300 times while writing it, “I have to be nice to Mary, and I cannot and will not pick on her.” We call this frequency, and frequency changes the brain, which means learning occurs. Hopefully, this consequence will only be used once or twice to change the behavior.

It should be noted that consequences may only be effective if the overall balance between positive and negative, as mentioned, is 3:1 or 4:1 or greater. In a negative environment, the child may learn that they only get real attention if they do something “bad.” In this scenario, bigger consequences can result in more “bad” or worse behavior.

“Bravo”

We work with many families in Europe, and as we do with all our families, we have them post videos to their NACD Portal showing us how they implement the various activities we give them. When reviewing these videos, the word we often hear as they implement their child’s activities is “Bravo.” “Bravo” is a nice positive word, which essentially means, “Well done.” However, what we often see is “Bravo’’ meaning “you tried but got it wrong,” or “Bravo” meaning “we’re done,” or “Bravo” meaning “let’s do what’s next,” and “Bravo” meaning “good,” or “you did well,” or “you got it right.” In a thirty-second video we could hear ten “bravos.” This is not terribly effective. Although the tone is positive, which we strongly encourage, there isn’t much delineation between positive, negative, and neutral feedback. In such situations, it’s not that we want or need strong negative feedback for getting something wrong; it’s a matter that the positive needs to be much stronger. The response to “wrong” should be simple acknowledgment, such as “Oops, let’s try again,” but the response for getting something correct or done well should be robust and powerful.

Attention

Any attention is potentially reinforcing. Attention must be given with the knowledge that it has the potential to be reinforcing regardless of the intention. Many of our children’s negative behaviors begin as simple attention-getting behaviors. A child’s smile can elicit a smile from Mom. The smile got Mom’s attention, and she smiled back or picked up the child and rewarded the behavior, building that behavior. Johnny burps, and Mom responds, “Johnny, don’t burp.” The burp elicited attention from Mom, which potentially reinforced their behavior. “Johnny, don’t burp” is not a consequence. It’s attention, and any attention from a parent is potentially reinforcing. Of greater consequence are the parent’s response to minor possible hurts—hurts being little physical bumps, to a hurt feeling. If Mom overreacts, picks up the child and loves all over them, the odds are good that the crying doesn’t stop, but increases because of Mom’s attention. This reinforces the child’s overreaction, which essentially is a lie, and can potentially help teach children to lie. These children often become the “drama queens” because it works. Parents mistakenly perceive all the attention they give their children as a display of love and a good thing. Attention must be given judicially, understanding that it can be very influential.

In negative environments, attention gains even greater significance.

Opposite incompatible behaviors

Understanding the concept of opposite incompatible behaviors is very helpful for parents in focusing, creating a positive home environment, and successfully managing and developing their children.

Opposite incompatible behaviors reference the reality that you can’t be good and bad or try and not try, be responsible or irresponsible, etc., simultaneously. In our efforts to create good attitudes, work habits, and other behaviors, we always want to be aware of the opposite incompatible behaviors and focus primarily on building and reinforcing the positive preferred behaviors. This applies across the board, from behavior problems that need to be turned around to increasing focus on academics or responsibility with chores. When possible, focus on building what we want with positive attention/rewards, and when we need to use consequences, do so effectively and judicially.

• Create a positive environment.
• Provide consistent, definitive feedback.
• Be cognizant of the power of attention.
• Focus on rewarding the behaviors you want to build.

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 37 No. 3, 2024 ©NACD

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by Bob Doman

The key to understanding and improving global function in children and adults with Down syndrome is determining and developing their cognitive function.

Whether we are looking at a two-year-old or an adult with Down syndrome, their level of function, their ability to learn, think, and communicate is a reflection of their cognitive level. 

Cognition is the mental function that permits us to process information, to acquire knowledge, to understand, think, and communicate. Cognition is not reading, math, or specific knowledge per se; it involves the neurodevelopmental pieces that comprise auditory and visual short-term memory, working memory, and eventually executive function. 

Cognition, or intelligence, is partially a reflection of what we were born with, but primarily it is something that develops. Anything that develops can be developed, impacted, improved. Unfortunately addressing cognition, how we process and manipulate what we see and hear, is missing almost universally from all education. For children with developmental issues, this leads to inappropriate, untargeted* input, low and unrealistic expectations, and poor outcomes.

Case in point

I recently received a report from a school outlining their curriculum for a twelve-year-old child with Down syndrome. Her curriculum includes the following:

• Science – forces and magnets
• Geography – comparing Australia, Greenland, and Africa, including significant historical events
• History – Stone age to Iron age
• Reading – creating and writing sentences about what they did over the weekend
• Math – shapes, positions, directions, statistics
• Computing – the pros and cons for social media advertising
• and a project to research, create, and launch a campaign to encourage others to be healthy.

Sounds wonderful—what a great opportunity for this child. This curriculum would be appropriate for perhaps a typical or gifted child, and even a few children with Down syndrome who have been given the opportunity to develop typical or better processing skills and who had a commensurate educational foundation. Unfortunately, the child in this classroom is functioning at the cognitive development level of a two-going-on-three-year-old. She is just putting two to three words together, learning to feed and dress herself, and developing the ability to process two to three step directions. She’s not twelve, she is two going on three. This is perhaps an extreme example, but it’s real! However, it would not be at all unusual for a twelve-year-old, but functional two to three, to be taught phonics and printing and other inappropriate things, based on their functional level. Would you think it appropriate to teach a typical two-year-old phonics and printing? How successful would you be, and how much of a waste of their time would it be? And what about all the things that would have been appropriate for them? The point is that when targeting the needs of children, it is their level of function, their cognitive level, their ability to process information and their complexity of thought that should determine what is appropriate and targeted.

Children develop when we provide them with what is targeted and appropriate for them. This targeted input is what develops their global function, helps build cognition, and leads to good outcomes. Where they are is more a reflection of their processing level than their chronological age. You don’t try to teach algebra to a child who can’t add.

Looking at a child with Down syndrome primarily through the lens of their chronological age does them a great disservice and results in inappropriate, ineffective education and therapies, and poor outcomes. Such historic failures have resulted in a poor perception of potential. The foundation of all development is neuroplasticity, and the first fundamental rule of neuroplasticity is to provide the child with input that is targeted to them.

We have been fortunate to have worked with many thousands of children and adults with Down syndrome, and in the case of many individuals, we have worked with them for decades. We have seen what is possible if we, along with the family, work with an understanding of the whole child and work diligently to build cognition. Without exception, those who develop processing abilities in the “normal” range can become the adults who have good jobs, drive, have good social relationships, and enjoy good lives. After these years and thousands of individuals with Down syndrome, we have never seen one reach these high global functional levels without having developed the commensurate level of cognition. 

Optimally we start working on processing and cognition virtually from birth; and the sooner we start the process, the more we begin funneling in the pieces that help produce global knowledge and functional intelligence. Years lost are gone. Can we start working on this function later? Absolutely. Addressing the foundational pieces of cognition, short-term memory, working memory, and executive function even starting with adults can produce dramatic change; but time lost is time lost in teaching that brain how to learn and think and filling that brain with the knowledge and experience that builds full lives.

Developmental and educational priority number one is developing the ability to learn and think—cognition/processing power. 

To learn more about processing power, watch our video below

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 37 No. 2 , 2024 ©NACD

The post Down Syndrome & Cognition appeared first on NACD International | The National Association for Child Development.

Most of us have no idea what creatures of habit and patterns we are, nor how stuck we can be in these behavior patterns. I have three dogs that keep reminding me of what a creature of habit I am. If I’m watching TV in the evening and pick up the TV remote, my dogs notice; and if I turn off the TV, they all jump up ready to go. Which way they go is determined by the direction of my first step when I stand up. In the morning if I pick up my cup from the coffee machine and if I turn left, my dogs run down to my office. If I turn right, they go about their business because there are too many options as to what I might do. You probably put the same foot into your pant leg first most every day. The point is that we humans create hundreds of behavior patterns, most of which we are oblivious to.

When dealing with children, particularly children with developmental issues, the connection between the child and the parents and caregivers is amazing. This connection leads to each learning each other’s patterns. Patterns can become ruts, ruts that both parent and child can get stuck in.

One very common pattern or rut that creates problems involves what children will eat. In a very significant percentage of children who come to us, ranging from severely involved children to those who are gifted, a common problem is picky eaters. Back in the early ‘70s when we created a program specifically for children with autism, I worked with a teenage girl who had eaten no food other than apples for virtually her entire life. To compound the mystery of this child, she also had pica—she would put most anything in her mouth and eat it. This included everything from dirt to bugs and her dog’s feces from the yard, but not food. The issue with her eating a greater variety of foods was obviously not an issue with taste or smell, although this can be an issue for many children, particularly those on the spectrum. It was simply a matter of an established pattern, a habit. It should be noted that food cravings that come from eating a lot of some specific foods can also be a contributing issue. Kids are not simple.

In a previous article (Independence and the Developmentally Challenged Child) I discussed how important and vital independence is for the overall development of the child or young adult. The child’s and the parent’s patterns and habits often have a very negative impact on the development of independence.

An example of a common pattern that slows down the development of independence in many children is helping them dress themselves. Most parents who assist their child in dressing and undressing assist in virtually the exact same way every time, and the child participates, or does not participate, in exactly the same way. As an example: Mom approaches Johnny with a T-shirt. Johnny sees it and waits for Mom to put it over his head, at which point he lifts his arms and she helps put his arms in the sleeves. Then she pulls the shirt down. Every day they follow the same pattern. If Mom doesn’t do something to change her pattern, the odds are great that Johnny doesn’t either; and Johnny’s development of independence in dressing himself goes nowhere. Parents need to become acutely aware of the hundreds of such patterns, habits that have been created by them and their children, and consciously work to break them.

It’s helpful when trying to grasp the significance of patterns to see how differently children perform with different people and in different places. Children who work with their parents, caregivers, therapists, and teachers are often going to react and perform differently with each person, or in each place, because patterns and habits are created together and are often person and place specific. Each adult establishes a new pattern, and to some extent the physical space helps establish a new mental picture and a new pattern as well. Most children on the spectrum are strong visualizers, creating mental pictures and videos associated with many aspects of their lives. For these visualizers anything that changes their picture (or habit) can lead to them becoming upset, with the net result being that family members and caregivers avoid upsetting the apple cart and work hard to maintain and reinforce the habits.

One of the most devastating and pervasive problems associated with patterns negatively impacting many of our children with developmental issues is prompt dependency. Prompt dependence is actually taught through creating a patten by which the child is prompted, generally verbally through virtually every step of what they are being instructed to do. Some children, after years of such instruction, develop such a strong pattern that they will do almost nothing without a prompt, requiring someone to guide them through most everything they do, creating greater dependency and stifling independence.

Referring back to the picky eater problem, parents often discover that their child will eat foods at the grandparent’s house that they won’t eat at home, or in a restaurant, or even outside. This is because a new place helps change the pattern.

The teenage girl with autism I met had her eating problem largely resolved within the week she and her family spent with us. Guess what we did to fix it? Almost nothing. The child had spent her whole life at home, eating by herself in the same kitchen at the same table and given the same food—apples—because her family been convinced that she wouldn’t eat anything else, and had established a very strong behavior pattern. When the family flew across the county, stayed in a hotel and at our offices, and ate at restaurants together, they broke the pattern. My little suggestion was to not have any apples nor bring apples to the restaurant and to simply order her the same food the parents were eating and tell her they didn’t have apples. She ate the food and within the week established a new behavior pattern, which was to eat what the family ate.

Patterns and habits affect all of our lives to amazing degrees. Having healthy diets for most people means establishing a new behavior pattern or habit. Exercising regularly for most people requires establishing a new behavior pattern or habit. Many people realize how difficult it can be to break an old pattern and create a new one and realize it doesn’t just happen. You have to very consciously work to create that new behavior pattern; and the longer a pattern exists, the tougher it is to change it, whether it is a good or a bad habit.

Typically developing children are neurologically changing rapidly, and that neurological change pushes them to do new things; and in the process it tends to break many previously established patterns of behavior. Typical children and their parents can certainly fall victim to habits. But when you slow down the developmental process, life tends to become just a series of pattens that essentially rule the child and the family’s life and can significantly and often dramatically inhibit change, development, and expectations. These patterns can affect all areas of development and function. An example is children learning patterns of communication. If whining works to get attention, and Mom interprets that as the child wanting something and becomes trained to start offering the child options until the whining stops, then the odds are good that the child will maintain that pattern of communication even though they neurologically are ready to start verbally communicating. In a similar vein there are children who develop a functional vocabulary of only a few words, who may go years without expanding that vocabulary. It becomes their pattern, and if the expectation is that it’s all he or she can do, then it becomes the perception of what can be, and it is accepted. A child who has a vocabulary of three words is demonstrating that they have the cognitive ability and the oral motor ability to think in words and produce words, why not ten words or twenty words or a thousand words?

If a child lacks mobility, the ability to move either through crawling, creeping, or walking to get to something, and learns to simply lay on the floor and space out, cry for attention, or whine until someone brings something to them, then often these become patterns and the child has no perception that they could move to go somewhere or get something. These children may have the cognitive and physical pieces that would permit them to move, but they are stuck in a pattern.

Looking at pieces of the child in isolation makes it very difficult at best to determine what is a reflection of the child being stuck in a pattern vs. what can, could, and should be. The perception of what can be is then easily limited to what has been, and doors are closed not based on the innate potential of the child, but rather on what patterns have been and are in place.

If, however, we view the “whole child,” the gestalt of the child, we can then see what could be and what pieces need to be put together to break the habits or patterns and move forward.

For example, one vital piece of the “whole child” is cognitive function. If we have understanding, auditory sequential processing, that says the child mentally has the ability to use language functionally and put two or three words together, as well as adequate oral motor skills for speech, but they only use a few words, then we know we have a child who today could be speaking much more, if not for being stuck in a pattern. If, however, we have the cognition, but not the needed oral motor function, then we know we need to work on the oral motor function hard, as well as working behaviorally to create the internal need to communicate. Conversely, if the child has sufficient oral motor function, but not the cognitive function, then the primary focus becomes the cognition.

Looking at a child as their isolated pieces and not understanding their patterns and habits can produce misdirected efforts and priorities, and more often than not turn the focus toward alternatives that lead to poor, low, or limited expectations that can negatively impact the child’s ultimate potential.

Not understanding the “whole child” or the impact of patterns can lead to pursuit of poor alternatives. For the child with limited language, the alternative may be an augmentative communication device that for the vast majority of children fails. If full mobility is deemed to be improbable, then putting the necessary developmental pieces together gets scrapped, and the therapy gets directed toward a child who will spend the rest of their life in a wheelchair. Or a child with unresolved behavior issues ends up being medicated, rather than having his pieces put together and patterns broken.

Habits and patterns impact all of our lives. For our children with developmental problems, these habits and patterns, both theirs and ours, can have devastating consequences. Every child needs to be viewed through the lens of the “whole child” and seen as a creature of habit if we are going to begin to provide them with a real opportunity to realize their innate potential.

Lack of function needs not and should not be viewed as a prognosis or predictor of potential.

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 34 No.5, 2021 ©NACD

The post How Patterns of Behavior Affect Your Developmentally Challenged Child appeared first on NACD International | The National Association for Child Development.

What is the difference between a parent or a caregiver trying to push a child to take a developmental step and a child being driven to take that step? For all children it is very significant; but for the developmentally challenged child it can literally be the difference between success and failure.

If you observe the changes that take place in a child as they gain more and more functional mobility, be it a child who is developing typically or a child with challenges, the associated global changes are hard to miss. The child being able to initially move and crawl on their bellies and get to something is a major step in independence. When they can move faster and better and can creep on their hands and knees, they take another leap, as they do when they start walking. At each of these stages, the child’s level of awareness and the degree to which they are present and are taking in more information takes a major leap forward. The added input their brains receive, along with the associated neurodevelopment, results in improved processing, cognition, language, and more. However, another often missed but related and important piece to this process is the effect of independence.

I have observed that independence results in an increase in initiation.

One of the toughest challenges for the parent of a child with developmental issues is trying to get them to do something that requires work, time, and perseverance when the child couldn’t care less and lacks the perception that they are actually participants and can initiate and do something. Some of these initial steps can be maddening for parents. It’s not surprising that many parents of developmentally challenged children often feel like Sisyphus, from Greek mythology, who was forced to keep pushing a boulder up a mountain only to have it keep rolling back down. These first steps are so difficult because a child who lacks independence, who has limited ability to interact or play with a toy, feed themselves, speak or initiate much beyond getting a reaction from a parent with a smile or a scream, does not perceive that they can initiate or produce change, or simply, just do something new or different. At every stage of a child’s development, the more independent and empowered they are, the more they strive to move forward on their own, as do most typical children to varying degrees.

It amazing how apparently minor acts of independence can produce global change. As an example, it has been interesting and enlightening to observe the impact of self-feeding on independence and initiation. Many parents of children with developmental issues see feeding as a process by which you get food from a bowl into a child’s stomach as quickly and as efficiently as possible. This often means feeding the child pureed foods that do not require chewing and using a rather large spoon so the food can get shoveled in as quickly as possible, leaving time for what are perceived to be important things. Comparing children who are very developmentally similar who are encouraged and taught to eat independently as soon as possible to those who are fed is often dramatic relative to their overall development going forward. If you think about independence, being able to feed oneself is as foundational as it gets.

One of the things about working with a lot of whole children is that it permits you to see correlations and associations. I understand parents, and I get it that some are not making the connection and giving their children the opportunity to learn to finger feed because they don’t want to deal with their child painting themselves and the kitchen while learning how to do it, or to deal with their discovery that a spoon can function as a catapult, permitting them to launch food even farther*. But where many parents see a disaster, I see initiation. The more a child does independently, the more they become aware of themselves, their surroundings, and their ability to impact their lives, to change things and do new things, to move forward, to initiate.

I have a little grandson who I have loved observing as he moved from crawling, to creeping, to walking, and watching his world change. Crawling permitted him go, to explore, no longer dependent on someone bringing the world to him. Faster, more efficient mobility, creeping, opened up more territory and the ability to start getting up into a kneel to reach and interact with things at a higher level; then pulling to stand permitted access to more of his world, which quickly transformed into walking and reaching higher places and getting around faster and freeing his hands to move and carry things. Each new step in his independence opened up more of the world and taught him that he could change it, which taught him he could initiate doing more and more himself. The more empowered he was, the faster and faster he developed. At sixteen months of age, I watch in amazement as he moves around a room, exploring and discovering that “This does that and that” and “Oh, I can make it do that too.” “I can initiate,” “I can change and impact my world.” He just sees challenges, not limitations. Independence produces initiation, and initiation produces more and faster development.

Coaches often talk about trying to instill an “I can do” attitude. The truth is, the more you can do, the more you instinctively know and believe you can do.

For a child with developmental issues, this correlation between independence, initiation, and global advancement is ongoing and as significant for the teen or young adult as it was for the infant.

Independence and initiation develop through the basics, such as moving, feeding oneself, and independence in dressing and toileting, into the ability to get themselves food and drink, to the understanding that language is a means to get what you want and need, as well as communicate feelings and thoughts, which have the power to influence and produce change. But it certainly doesn’t stop there. Some of the first questions I ask parents about their children relate to independence in self-help skills and chores. The independence that comes from doing chores without prompts**, from owning chores, doing your job without someone standing over you and prompting you, translates into self-confidence and initiation. Being independent and responsible for chores generalizes into all aspects of the child’s development, education, and maturity.

Parents, don’t put independence at the bottom of your list, put it at the top.

Independence fosters initiative, and initiative is a key to development.

* There is also a huge range of other benefits from a child learning to feed themselves, ranging from foundational oral motor development needed for speech, to focus and visual convergence, to digestion, just to name a few.

** One of the more difficult things to overcome in a child with developmental issues is prompt dependency. Being taught that someone needs to prompt you to do every step teaches dependency, not independence, and kills initiation.

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 34 No.2, 2021 ©NACD

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I will never forget the feeling I had the day when Jack was labelled as autistic, he was five years old and had received a heavy educational input from myself and my supportive family with reading, math and general learning. My husband and I had left our jobs to take our son to “the best” child psychologist in London, primarily because the private school Jack was attending in Andorra had asked us to withdraw him. The schools’ headmistress said that they did not know what was wrong with him, but they did not have the facilities to educate him. This was quite a shock to us because from when he was a baby, I had seen how intelligent he was and I thought the milestones he wasn’t making was a result of him going to a multi-lingual school for the past year, as before he went to school, he was reading well for his age and showed a great memory for stories and I had no reason to believe he had any issues. My husband and I work on Super yachts, myself as a captain and he as a chief engineer. Before we left our jobs for the trip to London, we had had an amazing guest, who was a pioneer in reducing biological age and in practical uses of increasing knowledge of neuroplasticity. We had mentioned to him why we were leaving our jobs and he gave us the following parting words of advice:

1. Do not take the psychologist’s opinion as the only option, because they specialise in only one specific part of the child, which is a result of the problem.
2. Ask about possible effects of other factors, such nutrition and genetics.
3. Read the book “The brain that changes itself” before you make any major decisions. (This was key to us understanding what to look for in the solution which we finally found in NACD).

After a very expensive, one hour evaluation of Jack, the psychologist in London advised us, in no uncertain terms, that I should move to London and put Jack in a school specialising in children with autism (which he was the resident phycologist for), he advised us that Jack would regress and he would be nonverbal by the time he was 8 years old, he would never be very academic, although he was clearly intelligent by nature and if he did manage to have a career as an adult, he was very likely to grow up to be a selfish and self-involved, egotistical adult, who would have little thought for others. He would not be able to do math or learn to play music, as that part of his brain would never function properly.

My whole world fell apart, we asked the psychologist if there could be any links to genetics or diet that could help him, but he shut us down. We left his office feeling completely overwhelmed. How could we have an autistic child, could there be such low expectations of child of whom we had seen had a natural high intelligence level, who was happy and fun to be with and furthermore, what could we do to help him?

Luckily, throughout our training and careers, we have been taught not to mop up the symptoms of a situation but to find the root cause of the problem and to find a solution to fix these problems. My husband instantly identified that we should find somebody who understood how the brain works and how to fix the neurological root cause of Jack’s disability.

After over a year of home schooling and trying different methods to help an autistic child without improvement, I came upon The Listening Programme (developed by NACD), which is a music recording on an iPod, linked to bone conducting headphones, which trains the ears to learn audible frequencies. Within the first month of using TLP, I saw the first real step forward, in what had been over 12 months of intensive and soul-destroying work, one-on-one with speech therapists, occupational therapists and many other experts with no steps forward and so I read all the recommendations that parents had given on TLP’s website, hoping to find like-minded parents that had found the solution we were looking for; luckily, one of the recommendations mentioned NACD. I searched the internet and was so delighted when I realised that their method of working with disabilities was based on fixing the root cause of the problem, through a series of proven exercises, based on an understanding of the ‘plastic brain’, the effects of neurological issues and how they manifest themselves in symptoms. NACD had managed to help a range of children with disabilities of all kinds of different labels as well as “normal” and gifted children.

After an initial interview with an assessor, we were sent an introductory audio file to listen to, where the NACD method was outlined. I was a little overwhelmed hearing about digit spans etc, but intrigued and totally onboard, so a short while later, in September of 2014, with full enthusiasm, we went to Chicago for Jack’s assessment. Ellen Doman completed a one-on-one assessment of Jack in a hotel room office, whilst we sat anxiously in the foyer. She then brought us into the room and explained how she had identified a number of issues including: sensory dysfunction, developmental motor issues and poor auditory sequential processing amongst other developmental problems. She explained that he was ‘stimming’ and told us what this meant, I still remember being on the phone to my mum during the 4-hour drive home, explaining that Jack was watching movies in his head at hundreds of times the speed and getting a dopamine kick from it, and that this was more addictive than morphine and when he was ‘in a world of his own’ he was actually completely immersed in these movies. It took a long time for this to sink in. I was hesitant at first, as it seemed so far-fetched, but over the years, the theory was proven again and again and when Jack was communicating well enough, he explained this in his own words. Ellen also told us where he was in his fine and gross motor skills, specifically linked to where he was neurologically and noted that Jack was using his peripheral vision over his central vision and she explained why this was not good.

Ellen reassured me that there was a lot we could do with Jack to get him back on track and I was very impressed with the systematic and detailed approach. She said that she would send me a program for Jack and to contact them with any questions or concerns, but in the next few days, while she put the program together, we should avoid dairy, reduce sugars and gluten, not watch any movie or TV shows more than once and get as much time reading together, engaged in games and conversation and to go on walks etc as much as possible. We saw a big improvement within two weeks, particularly in Jacks’ responsiveness and use of language, which we later confirmed was due to stopping milk is his diet as he was lactose intolerant (something I did not really believe in before I saw the evidence in Jack). Our journey on a new path had begun.

The First Program

We were somewhat overwhelmed with the first few programs as they were educating us on how to help and improve Jack’s issues. With the whole family completely involved in every step of the way on how to teach and retrain Jack. NACD reset the way we understood education (My mother lives with us and was the primary teacher because I have a demanding job and my Mum is trained in educating young children and so it took her a while to adapt to these new methods). The program made sense as a whole, but we could not quite see the reasons for some of the tasks until a year or so later, but we started working on the basic fundamentals of a properly functioning brain, starting with developmental motor activities, as well as continuing with TLP and implementing many basic sequencing exercises. Ellen explained where Jack was with math (which was a lot lower than we had realised) and how to teach him the meaning and sequence of number and the difference between math facts and math problem solving. We learned how to teach reading with flash cards of the first 1,000 words and the importance of frequency, intensity and duration. Having the training videos online to access whenever we needed a refresher of how to complete a task has been incredibly useful and the simplified approach to teaching math has helped us teach the children in a fun and engaging way.

The program progressed with Jack and was adapted to suit his level of ability rather than his age. We hadn’t realised how far behind he was on basic neurological assessments initially, but over the years, he has caught up substantially and academically, he has overtaken his peers.

One of my most vivid memories from before NACD, was watching a mother with her 7-year-old boy in Barnes and Noble, she was discussing a topic in the Encyclopaedia with him and they were happily engaged in a two-way conversation. My heart sank and my world fell apart as, I thought, I would never have this relationship with my son, as he would be non-verbal, never mind able to hold a conversation, but now Jack is thriving, he is almost fluent in Spanish, has basic Chinese and French, is learning to study independently and is able to take on any chore in the house. Jack has also just published his first book called “Albert and the Karnikans” in the UK, a process that he had a lot of involvement with, (this is one of many stories he has in his creative space at home). Jack enjoys playing the piano and cello, which I will admit was a struggle for the first few years, he has a very high level of vocabulary, actively engages in conversation and discussions (although his is still quite shy in social situations) and last year, at aged 11, he scored at sophomore college level on his math test. Jack loves to read philosophy and history and writes his own computer code to make basic computer games. In his free time, he draws comics and tells and re-enacts stories and plays with his sister for our entertainment. In short, he is thriving.

Our daughter, Charlotte, is now 10 years old. She was an “average child” when she began NACD at 4 years old (we removed her from school when they asked us to take Jack out). Charlotte loves maths and she tested sophomore level math at 9 years old. She scores 12 in her digit spans in person, 9 on Simply Smarter, which makes more advanced learning in STEM subjects and coding more enjoyable and engaging for her. About a year after starting on NACD, Bob and Ellen discovered she had issues related to reading that a psychologist would have labelled as dyslexia and with early intervention we were able to fix this issue with simple methods that we easily implemented into our daily program, she now tests at reading grade 12 and is an avid reader. She is happy, highly capable and is becoming an independent learner who loves history and science. She plays the harp, piano and violin and is almost fluent in Spanish and is learning Chinese and French.

NACD has made us realise that we can all reach our full potential. The methods we have learned and implemented into improving ourselves has had an everlasting positive influence on us as individuals and as a family. We have all developed with Jack and Charlotte in the process of learning the NACD methods, we have a greater understanding of how the brain works, specifically, how we learn, which has led to a great desire to help other families and children who are experiencing the fear and frustration that we had in our lives only six years ago. All of our family have improved in so many ways and as a result of NACD our lives are so much more enriched, we have become better leaders, communicators and able and willing to take on new academic challenges that otherwise may have been daunting.

My mother, who is now 72 years old, is improving her own brain capability and is reaching her own true potential by completing NACD’s, Simply Smarter in her free time. She is learning Spanish and is still teaching both children English and math.

If I could give advice to other parents it would be to trust the incredible knowledge that the team at NACD have from their education, training, years of experience and teamwork which they draw on with great care, when making up a new program which is specifically designed for each child.

Myself and my family will be forever grateful to Bob, Ellen and everyone at NACD for giving my children the chance to realise their true potential and for making us a stronger and happier family, we intend to continue with NACD for the rest of our children’s journey through education.

The NACD Foundation, Volume 34 No.1, 2021 ©NACD

The post Our Journey With NACD appeared first on NACD International | The National Association for Child Development.

by Bob Doman

Who would have thought that one of the potentially most harmful “tools” available to our children was something as educational and entertaining as YouTube? For many children and young adults with developmental issues, it is.

Our work at the National Association for Child Development involves working with the whole child and all aspects of their development. From sleep and diet, to reading and cognition, to social function and behavior, to how they spend their day and how they entertain themselves. Our job is essentially to see where all the pieces are, how they are fitting together or not, and how to work with the family and the child to maximize the child’s function and potential.

We work internationally with the full range of children. From those with severe brain injuries, to those on the autism spectrum, to genetic issues such as Down syndrome, to learning and attention problems, as well as “typical” and talented children. Working with this broad range of children provides us with an opportunity to gain many insights, not the least of which are what tools can be used to our benefit or that can become harmful. For many children, particularly, but not exclusively those with developmental issues, YouTube can have a negative to devastating effect on their global function, wellbeing, and development.

When the iPad first came out, I heralded it, and still do, as both a tremendous developmental and educational tool and source of entertainment. For many children with developmental issues, we finally had an instrument that served as an entire portable toy box and toolbox, an instrument that taught them everything from cause and effect and how to isolate and use their index finger, to how to speak (NACD Apraxia apps) and to think (NACD Cognition Coach apps), therapeutic videos, and an almost endless list of educational and entertaining content and access to a world’s worth of information.

For many parents of our lower functioning children, having something that their child could engage with all by themselves was a godsend. Not many children are going to sit by themselves and entertain themselves putting rings on a post. With the tens of thousands of apps for young children, it was a fairly easy task to find apps that the child enjoyed and to follow a progression of apps that push and follow the child’s development. For an educator and a developmentalist, the iPad and subsequent tablets are certainly some of the greatest inventions ever.

One of the amazing effects of the iPad was how quickly children learned how to use it, and not only use it, but navigate and control it. I have been amazed to watch children with severe handicaps and typical kids as young as two and three navigate and find everything they want on their device, often better than their parents. This facility of children to navigate has, however, created some unintended issues.

For many children one of the favorite and most preferred functions of the iPad is to use it as a vehicle to watch YouTube videos. How some children who can’t even read are able to navigate and find specific videos is rather amazing, but many do it and they do it well.

I first became aware of the issue with YouTube with our children on the autism spectrum. Many of these children have a tendency to get stuck on specific things, with videos being at the top of the list and with music coming in a close second. For more than forty years, I have been hearing parents tell me that their autistic child would watch the same video over and over. Not over and over like four or five times, but over and over like many hundreds of times. I was also hearing of children who, if they had control of a VCR or disc player, would keep rewinding and watching little snippets of the video over and over. What we came to realize was that the children memorized these videos or snippets and would get a huge endorphin rush every time what they anticipated happening did in fact happen. Quite simply, they became addicted to the video or their favorite parts of the video. Why else watch it over and over and over again? In some cases, the addiction was so strong that there was nothing, including eating, that the child would voluntarily do over feeding their video addiction. As it turns out, the iPad and YouTube provided the perfect pairing for creating and feeding the children’s addictions.

One of the issues for many children on the autism spectrum is lack of eye contact and not being present. For many of these children their ability to visualize, think in pictures, is exceptional; and if they become addicted to a video or a specific event, they can “watch” that event over and over again in their mind. If you are visualizing, thinking in pictures, you cannot really simultaneously process what you see well enough to engage in the moment, in the real world properly or to be entirely present. As an example imagine (but don’t really do it) driving on a freeway in rush hour traffic and computing something like 379 plus 86 in your head. Most of you to complete this task would need to picture, or visualize, the numbers to do the computation. Guess what you wouldn’t be doing while completing the problem? Would you believe watching the road. The more mental ammunition these children have to visualize, often the less present and engaged they are. This issue has become exacerbated for many children because of YouTube.

YouTube is the perfect vehicle for these children. It offers an endless variety of short videos that the child can easily locate, stop, go back to their “spot,” and revisit as often as needed. Many of these kids also find related videos easily as well. One of the favorite subjects for some of the children on the spectrum is roller coasters. This has to do with the imbalance between their central and peripheral vision and an attraction to movement and edges, which roller coasters abound in. Some of the children become amazingly talented at finding roller coaster videos, of which there is an almost endless supply on YouTube. The biggest video culprit isn’t roller coasters, however, it’s music videos.

When children watch the same thing over and over, or listen to the same song over and over, or even want the same book read to them over and over, we refer to it as perseveration. (See video below.) In addition, the perseverative child will perseverate with thoughts that lead to perseverative behaviors or actions that involve the senses, often leading to DSAs—Debilitating Sensory Addictive behaviors, or “stims,” all of which are harmful.

We tend erroneously to believe that most of what we know we were “taught,” but in truth most of what our brain processes and what we learn from our world, we learn simply by being present and aware. If a child spends hours a day watching the same YouTube videos over and over and then spends great chunks of the day not really being present, but watching the same videos in their mind, then they are not present, not learning, not engaging in life, and not developing as they should.

In school it is often the quiet child who doesn’t make waves or get into trouble that gets ignored. Unfortunately, many of these children and young adults who are off getting their YouTube fix fit into the same category. Parents and caregivers are happy that these children and adults on the spectrum, or with Down syndrome, or other issues that tend to slow down and misdirect development are quiet, happy, and occupied. Tragically we have seen many children and young adults left to their own devices—pun intended—become more and more addicted to their videos, with a resulting slowing down of their development or even regressing.

Parents, beware. Excessive screen time can be a significant problem—excessive perseverative screen time can be a disaster.

Here are a couple of links to assist you in restricting access to YouTube or other apps:

• https://www.imore.com/how-restrict-siri-airdrop-and-carplay-parental-restrictions-iphone-and-ipad
• https://www.guidingtech.com/block-youtube-screen-time-iphone-ipad/
• https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201304

Of note, fortunately I have yet to hear of any children perseverating on any of my many YouTube videos. They’re safe and educational, not fodder for perseveration, I hope!

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 33 No. 7, 2020 ©NACD

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by Bob Doman

My son won’t do what I tell him to do.

Mom said, “Stop it!” for the ten-thousandth time.

Why should I?

The kids are out of control.

You’re not the boss of me.

Susie won’t sit at the table and finish her meal.

I can’t get him to do anything.

Many parents feel powerless to get their children to obey. They try rewards and every “punishment*” under the sky, but the kids still ignore them and do what they want, when they want.

Even though I’ve heard it perhaps thousands of times, every time I hear an adult, a parent, tell me their little thirty-pound child won’t listen to them and that they can’t get their child to obey, follow directions, stop doing something harmful or dangerous, or do something important for their development and education, I am a bit taken aback. Whether your child is two, ten, or a teen you have power—if you wish to exercise it—to gain control.

Your child can’t eat something unless you buy it; they can’t watch TV, listen to music, play a video game, use an iPad or any screen for that matter unless you let them. They can’t go to the park or do many things unless you facilitate or permit it.

The things your child really likes are the things that provide you with parent power; if you are willing to use your power. Access to favorite foods or treats, access to screens, music, special toys, extra or special events, etc. are not in the category of necessities. They are things you as a parent can choose or not choose to provide. These things need to be perceived by you as special things you are providing for your child; not having them is not deprivation.

If I suggest to some parents that they need to withhold favorite items or activities and use them as rewards for compliance, cooperation, or trying, I will hear comments such as, “Johnny will throw a fit if I limit his screen time!” A parent who is afraid to control their child is the parent of a child who is doing a better job of using rewards and consequences with their parents than the parents are with them.

A rule of thumb with children’s behavior is that they do what works, regardless of how self-defeating it may appear to be. If you tell Johnny he can’t play with the iPad and he throws a fit, he is doing it because throwing a fit works; it gets you to do what he wants. He is punishing your behavior. When you need Johnny to keep himself occupied and stay out of trouble and he quietly spends hours on the iPad, he is rewarding your behavior of letting him do what he wants. If Johnny’s fits didn’t work, he would stop having them. The typical parental response to this is, “I don’t let it work, I don’t give him what he wants.” My response to the parents is, “How consistently do you not give in and let it work?” Even if the parent’s response is, “most of the time,” that isn’t enough. If Johnny believed you, he wouldn’t do it because he knows it’s not going to work. Kids are terrible with odds. You wouldn’t gamble on something with lousy odds, would you? It depends, doesn’t it? You might buy a Powerball ticket with odds of 1 in 292,201,338 with the chance of winning millions. Guess what? To your five-year-old, getting the iPad right this minute is more significant than 100 million dollars to them (at least in part because they may have spent so much time on it that they are now addicts).

Historically I haven’t found that taking everything away from children to be productive. It is and feels to them to be punitive and it doesn’t work. But controlling their one favorite thing, or a few of their favorite things, and having them earn them does work. There is a difference, a significant difference.

There are a few important principles for parents to learn in dealing with their child’s behavior.

Behavior Principle #1

First is the concept of opposite incompatible behaviors. If you take advantage of this concept, in many, if not most cases, you can reward a behavior rather than punishing an opposite behavior. Rewards almost always work better than punishments and they make us as parents feel much better. They also move us toward creating a positive environment.

Examples of Opposite Incompatible Behaviors:

• not staying in bed/staying in bed
• not doing a chore/doing the chore
• siblings fighting/siblings not fighting
• not cooperating/cooperating
• having a lousy attitude/having a good attitude

Behavior Principle #2

Second, if we are trying to start a new behavior, we start with a small demand and a big reward. In the category of behavior, we have everything from a child saying “please”, to a child playing nicely with a sibling, to taking off their socks, to working hard on a processing activity. As we get the new behavior started and are establishing a new behavior pattern, we decrease the intensity/size and the type of the reward.

Behavior Principle #3

Third, always couple a tangible reward such as a treat, a special privilege, or even money, with a “social” reward. A social reward means praise, a hug, a high five, etc. As we build the habit of the new behavior, we decrease or phase out the tangible reward and maintain the “social” reward, albeit perhaps at a less intense level.

Behavior Principle #4

Fourth, if we are using something they like and that is important for them as a reward, if that thing can only be accessed as a reward, it has much greater power than if it is just a way to get more of whatever.

How to Implement These Principles

Let me give you two examples of how to implement these principles:

Example 1:

You have taught little Susie how to make her bed and the expectation is that she will now make her bed before leaving her room in the morning. If Susie does not make her bed, do we come up with a punishment? Do we punish this “bad” behavior or find a way to reward the opposite incompatible behavior? After we have taught her how to make her bed independently, we tell her that we want her to make her bed by herself before she leaves her room and comes to breakfast. To help this brand-new behavior along, we kick-start it with a BIG reward. So, for example, you tell Susie what you want and that you are going to be very proud of her if she does this grown-up thing. If she does it, you will make her pancakes for breakfast with syrup, strawberries, and whipped cream. Then after breakfast, you will go to the park. When she comes out for breakfast, you go into her room with her to see if she has completed her job. If she has, you cheer, pick her up, twirl around and give her a big hug, then proceed to make her pancakes, and then head to the park, all the while taking opportunities to tell her how proud you are of her for making her bed. If it turns out she did not make her bed, say something like, “I’m sad you forgot to make your bed. I was going to be so happy to make you pancakes and go to the park, I bet you can remember to do it tomorrow. Without mentioning it, plain eggs for breakfast and no trip to the park; also do not make a big deal of it all. Any attention has the potential to be rewarding, so drop it and move on.

As we continue with Susie making her bed, we slowly decrease the size and frequency of the tangible reward and to some degree the intensity of the “social” reward. Day two of success may earn the pancakes with all the fixings and the trip to the park. Day three, the pancakes, without the strawberries and whipped cream, but no park. After day six or so, start making the pancakes randomly every two to three days, always praising her for the good job she is doing, and then slowly phase out the pancakes, leaving a new behavior pattern and small social rewards, shifting emphasis to new behaviors. We can now avoid the unhealthy pancakes again or save them to help start another new behavior, but only make pancakes when they are being used to build a new behavior—they’re special and have special power.

Example 2:

Sean spends every possible minute he can watching YouTube on the iPad and when you try to take it away so he can do some reading, chores or other productive activity, he throws a huge fit. Sometimes he wins immediately, and you give up and let him watch his favorite videos. Other times you take it away and fight with him for an hour until he sort-of does what you want and then is immediately back to his screen. Do we punish the negative behavior of throwing a fit and not giving up the iPad, or do be find a way to turn the iPad into power?

In Sean’s case we actually have a few issues. He is addicted to watching/perseverating with YouTube videos, he is being defiant, and he is wasting his day doing an unproductive and harmful activity rather than being present, engaged and learning. To compound the problem, the constant negative attention he was getting from fighting and often winning was making his world extremely negative. The negativity was teaching Sean to work for the negatives, not the infrequent positives. It was defining him to himself and others as a negative, unhappy, and uncooperative child. Used correctly, the iPad could not only provide us with power, but it can be used to develop new positive behaviors.

The first thing I would do with Sean, is to take away the iPad completely for a week or two to start breaking the addiction and to teach him that you, and not he, are in control. Take it away, lock it away, and tell him that he has been watching it too much and that it has become bad for him. Period. No further discussion, no arguments. Of course, he will throw a massive fit, but don’t argue, discuss, or give in. As soon as you convince him that he isn’t getting it (if you have an option like going with him and leaving the iPad at Granddad’s house, use it), he will stop fighting. Kids do what work, and when he decides that you aren’t giving in and that his fit isn’t going to work, he will stop. After a few days of peace, it’s time to use the power.

Our goal is to turn the negative behavior of Sean watching endless YouTube videos into the opposite incompatible behavior of working, cooperating, and doing things that are positive for his growth and development. For Sean there is probably a long list of things you would like to see him do, from specific chores, to reading, working on processing, to math. In the past, every one of these things had become negative and he would either have a tantrum and win or throw a fit and eventually sort of do what was asked, but neither well nor as an active participant.

To start on the road to the new Sean, we would define a task that is definitive, that is clearly accomplished correctly. Examples include things like doing five math problems correctly (make it easy), taking the trash out, or emptying the dishwasher. Sean is told that when he accomplishes his task well he will be permitted to play on the iPad for 10 minutes. If Sean enjoys playing good games or doing things other than watching YouTube, I encourage removing all of the offensive material, including YouTube, from the iPad before giving him access. Upon proper completion of the task, give Sean a lot of positive praise and then set a timer for 10 minutes and immediately let him play for the ten minutes. As you proceed with Sean, you would add more and more projects for him, and while maintaining all of the positive social rewards, you would also increase the demands and decrease the iPad time and start looking for other perhaps healthier rewards. As Sean’s world becomes more and more positive, he will hopefully start perceiving himself differently and being happy, while you are moving the tangible rewards in better directions and slowly phase them out completely. You should also be able to decrease the intensity of the social rewards. It’s important to note that another term for “social rewards” is “adult rewards.” As we teach Sean to be a positive active participant and how it feels to receive positive acknowledgement for his efforts, we are also teaching him to appreciate adult reinforcement and to become more mature and responsible.

Parents, learn not to jump when your child says, “jump.” If you are tired of your child pulling the strings and if you would like to gain control, help your child develop, and make his or her world and your world more positive, use the “power” and remember to use the four principles.

*Punishment—a consequence to a behavior that decreases the frequency of the behavior. If you continue to “punish” a behavior and it is not decreasing or being eliminated, you are in fact not punishing, but may be reinforcing a behavior with attention, possibly being abusive or punitive and definitely creating a negative environment.

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 33 No. 7, 2020 ©NACD

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These COVID-19 Coronavirus times have certainly turned many of our worlds upside down. We now virtually have a world full of homeschoolers; more parents are at home with their children than at any time in the history of the world. Exceptional times and exceptional circumstances can also result in exceptional opportunities. Many of us are rediscovering and redefining basic things like family, work, school, and our relationship to institutions and society. I would like to talk with you about redefining potential and intellect and how while you are all at home, you have the potential to change the lives of every member of the family.

I would like to share a personal story. I grew up in a family of pioneers in human development. My father, a physician, and my uncle, a physical therapist in the ‘50s, worked with brain injured children and discovered that with the proper stimulation, healthy parts of the brain could learn to carry out the functions of damaged areas of the brain. This was ground breaking work that was originally seen as heretical, but is now after decades universally accepted. Changing perceptions is not an easy task, as I can certainly attest to after fifty years of trying to do it.

When I started studying psychology in the sixties, I had a tremendous advantage over others studying and working in the field. I came to understand that all development was possible through this amazing mechanism called neuroplasticity. If you understood neuroplasticity, development was no longer such a great mystery. The brain changed and developed as a reflection of specific stimulation, not because it just got older. Armed with this understanding, I looked at the brain as dynamic, changing, and most significantly, as changeable.

One area of early interest for me was learning and memory. At that time it was just beginning to be understood that there were various components of memory. Memory was being broken down into short-term memory, working memory, and long-term memory. The focus was on testing it and looking for correlations between these pieces and how people learned and functioned. At that time and for decades, the worlds of psychology and education did not have a perception that you could actually help develop or change memory; and even today, they are not really working to do that. My perception, based on an understanding of neuroplasticity, was that these components of memory didn’t just pop up as adult abilities, but they developed; and what developed changed; and what changed was changeable. I set out to understand all of these pieces and to find ways to change, develop, and accelerate that development.

Decades later I am proud to say that we have developed a great understanding of all of these foundational pieces that we now lump together and refer to as “processing.” Armed with this knowledge and the tools we have developed, we have helped change many thousands of lives. Improving these pieces of auditory and visual short-term memory and working memory is quite simply making people smarter. From our first software that ran on a Commodore Pet computer with a cassette drive in the early eighties, to the Brain Builder software in the nineties, to the present online Simply Smarter program and many dozens of one-to-one activities, we are working to change lives. From brain damaged individuals to those on the autism spectrum, to those with learning and attention issues, to typical children and adults, we can build all of these foundational pieces of memory that literally have the potential to make everyone smarter.

At NACD we work with “whole children,” designing home based comprehensive programs that address everything from a child’s sleep and behavior to how they walk and do algebra, including innovative comprehensive homeschool/home-based educational programs. But there is something that in one way or another is on every child’s program, and that is processing activities.

We are fortunate that we can work via Skype with any family in the world who has Internet access and give them the tools designed to develop and improve their brains. Today everyone doesn’t need to come to NACD to work on their processing. You can take advantage of this expertise and go online and in about fifteen minutes a day put together the pieces that can help you and your children work to become smarter. The tool that is available to you is our Simply Smarter program, a tool that your children can use all by themselves!

Let me help you understand what this all really is and what it can mean for you and your family.

What is “smart?” Can you define it? Do you think you would like your kids to be smarter? How about you?

You can define “smart,” possibly, but even more so, you probably know it when you see it. Smart has to do with being present, being aware, being able to take in and process a lot of information, being able to manipulate that information, think with complexity, put ideas together, focus, and communicate.

Smart doesn’t necessarily mean knowing that the capitol Nevada is Carson City, or that Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded, or that the First World War ended on November 11, 1918, or what your bile duct does, or that “or” is a conjunction. But smart does mean that you are more likely to find such things interesting and you can learn them more easily than most. Knowing “stuff” doesn’t make you smart. (You are going to actually forget most “stuff” unless you are smart enough to make associations and connections between “stuff” and use it.) And smarter also means that it’s easier to understand and learn everything.

What is the foundation of “smart?”

The foundation of smart is the ability to process and take in a lot of information that you see and hear and to manipulate that information and think.

The more you can process and take in what there is to be heard, the stronger your auditory short-term memory. Your auditory short-term memory provides the fuel for the development of your auditory working memory, which is how many pieces or words you can hold together and manipulate, which equals your complexity of thought, or “smart.” How many pieces of visual information you process from what you see, whether from observation of your world or from reading, relates to your visual short-term memory; and as with auditory processing, your visual short-term memory provides the pieces you use to create your visual working memory and visual-spatial abilities. These fundamental, foundational pieces ultimately determine how much information you take in and use, which translates to how much knowledge you gain and your complexity of thought. All this equals “smart.”

How does processing “smart” develop?

Processing develops primarily from birth to about seven years. The rate and degree it develops is a reflection of the targeted stimulation and opportunities that you receive. In general the more quality one-to-one interaction between a child and an involved adult, the faster and the further it develops. The more enriching the environment, the faster and the further it develops. With specific targeted input designed to build processing skills, processing not only can be accelerated, it can be developed to superior levels.

When does the development of processing abilities stop?

Without specific intervention, the development of processing abilities almost comes to a halt at about seven years of age. From seven into our twenties, it typically develops perhaps another ten to fifteen percent; and after our twenties, without specific intervention it goes into a slow decline. You can continue to learn more, but your ability to do so declines, as does your ability to manipulate the information. As you continue to learn, you can become wiser, but not necessarily smarter, unless you are stretching your processing through complex cognitive activities or actively working to preserve or develop it.

How can you build processing ability and get smarter?

Everyone, from infant to geriatric, with input that is targeted to them, can incrementally build and improve processing ability and get smarter. We at NACD have been developing methodologies and improving processing abilities for the full spectrum of children and adults for over forty years. NACD designs specific processing programs for families who are members of NACD and who wish to utilize comprehensive developmental and educational programs designed so that they can be implemented in the home by parents and caregivers. But as mentioned earlier, NACD also has developed a very comprehensive targeted program for all children five years old and older and for adults up to and including seniors—Simply Smarter.

What is Simply Smarter?

The Simply Smarter program is a dynamic online system that constantly develops and modifies itself, adapting to the individual user to help produce maximum change. Specific activities work progressively to address focus, attention, intensity, auditory and visual short-term and working memory, visualization, conceptualization, and visual-spatial abilities, all of the pieces that help make everyone learn, think, and function better. The program first assesses your baseline and then builds from there, tracking and graphing progress. It has the capability of adjusting from basic levels of a child to levels of incredible function.

What can you do with children under five?

Children at or functioning under five years of age generally need specific one-on-one activities that are designed as part of NACD’s individualized programs. But in addition children from toddlers to five years old can use NACD’s Cognition Coach apps to build processing skills.

How long does it take to get smarter?

With motivation and consistent use, measurable changes can occur in a couple of weeks; and with continued use of Simply Smarter, virtually unlimited improvements are possible. Over the course of the present lockdown, you have the potential to produce a significant change.

Who has used Simply Smarter and what have the results been?

The range of those who have used NACD’s processing activities and Simply Smarter is as broad as the population. NACD’s Simply Smarter and other processing programs have been used by thousands of typical and gifted children and adults, those with learning and attention issues, as well as those with significant developmental issues such as autism spectrum disorder, Down syndrome, and brain injuries. Most everyone working on our comprehensive home based programs not only knows about processing, but is actively working on processing every day and understands the correlation between their child’s processing and global function and abilities. We have seen exceptional changes along the path of many thousands of children’s development and are continually heartened as we see their potential being redefined. Processing is a huge key to success and potential.

Please take this opportunity to change your child’s life trajectory. My mission in life has been to help change the perception of potential and to help develop the tools to do it. Today with more parents and children at home than ever before, I see this as a unique chance to change many lives and potentially change the perception of what can be.

To read an incredible testimonial from a couple about Simply Smarter and see what incredible things even a child can do, please read the following article and watch the video.

Reprinted by permission of The NACD Foundation, Volume 33 No. 4, 2020 ©NACD

The post My Greatest Discovery – How to Make Everyone Smarter appeared first on NACD International | The National Association for Child Development.